Right now

After an office dinner and after-dinner drinks, I'm trying to have my last glass of wine on the couch in peace to decompress from thinking about all the many balls in our lives that are up in the air, as I've already conned Scott into asked Scott to take over Bailey's morning feeding.  

Bailey is laying in her crib and semi-fussing/crying as she expresses, in her only way of doing so, the fact that while she enjoys hanging out at Bubba and Deborah's house, she really doesn't appreciate us trying to bring her back home and put her straight to bed at 11-ish at night without playing first.  I have to admire the fact that the girl has her standards.  (As I write this post, her fussing/crying seems to be increasing. Awesome.)

Right now, I'm wavering between the "pick that sweet baby up and cuddle her" urge and the "she needs to sleep, just let her fuss until she sleeps" urge.  So, in a way that is probably totally confusing to her, I'm going in to pick her up, cuddle, rock, and calm her down about every 5 minutes.  Then I put her back into her crib and the whole guilt-and-confusion-inducing cycle starts all over again.

Scott and Reilly are watching tv, cuddling, and sleeping together. 

So much for relaxing with a glass of wine.  Or sleeping.  Sleeping is soooo 2010.

And, that's our new parent Friday night.  Try not to be overwhelmed by your jealousy.  

Oh hail no.

Sorry to steal that title from some variation of about 37 of my facebook friends' statuses, but I couldn't resist. 

But honestly and seriously, I am thinking about and praying for everyone who was caught up in the terrible storms yesterday and last night.  I have never seen hail the size that of that which fell in my own hometown and soon-to-be home (knock on wood!), Knoxville, or really even believed that hail that big existed in real life.  Here are just a few of the pictures I've seen (I totally stole these off facebook - that's allowed, right?  I sure hope so!):

It seems like just about everyone I know in East TN has damage.  But like my sweet friend Liz reminded me last night, in Knoxville it seems to be mostly just material damage which, even though I know it's miserable to experience, in the long run, will not have lasting effects.  At least, I hope that's the case for everyone.

Unfortunately, in Alabama, it is not just material damage.  Their state is badly damaged and so many people have lost loved ones and homes and everything else, it absolutely breaks my heart. Those folks need a lot of prayers.    They've got mine.  Please give them yours too.

Taken from drudgereport.com - I think this is Tuscaloosa?:

Before:

After:

Y'all  pray for these people, hug your families,and thank God for your blessings today - I know I will. 

(sidenote to take a little bit of the seriousness out of this post - my dad (who lives in Knoxville) said his truck looks like was beaten with a ball peen hammer.  And even though I love that truck and hate that it was damaged, that made me giggle (he said ball AND peen!).  Also, sorry for my rant last night, which seems just plain silly today, especially in light of everything addressed above.  Even though I've always been an oversharer in real life, I'm not as used to sharing so much on the internet.  In the words of Rodney Carrington, maybe I'm just sharing too much with you people.  I'm going to keep going, but maybe be a little more selective about what I share and stop bombarding all my facebook friends with the blog link all the time (but I'll still do it SOME of the time, I just can't resist).  I do promise to keep being honest about my journey as a first time mom because I think it's important and worth keeping record of, even if I'm the only one that reads it at least until one day down the road when I force Bailey to read it.  But really, I have gotten some great feedback about this blog and even if it just amuses me and a few other people, that makes it worth it.  Thanks.)

Uncertainty

I'm not sure what I want to do with this blog.  I like writing it, as I like writing in general, and I've always wanted to see if I could do it in non-legal way that wasn't completely terrible.  It is also, for lack of a better term, a type of "journal" about this amazing stage in my life that I will actually keep up. 

But sometimes it feels very a little vain and attention whore-ish, as well as oversharing-ish and maybe even know-it-all-ish (even though I don't know it all, and sometimes I don't think I know anything at all.)  And, let's face it, it totally is vain and attention whore-ish, as the only reason I will actually keep it up whereas I would never keep up with a normal journal is because I want people to read it and I want people to like it, and sometimes I'm really proud of my posts.  

So, I don't know where I'm going.  I've made this blog very public and repeatedly (and probably obnoxiously) linked to it from facebook.  But I share some very private things, and while I try to shut up the voices in my head who really, really worry about what other people think, they take over sometimes and I get all fidgety and mortified that I have shared what I've shared and I want to shut it down or delete it or make people sign in to read it. 

I'm not fishing for any feedback, I just wanted to be honest and say that that's where I am today.  Tomorrow I'll probably be all, screw it, who cares what they think, I like doing it so I'm going on.  And then I'll lay awake at night freaking out about the fact that I shared those pictures of my pregnant belly.   

I don't want to go all Sybil on you, but I'm really not sure which voice is going to win.

5 Things I Wish I'd Known: The Newborn Stage

Well, I think it's time for a little bit of honesty about the newborn stage, which was, by far, the most difficult thing I've ever experienced.  All pregnant women are bombarded by various generally true, but also really vague, warnings, such as how you should "sleep now, as you'll never get to sleep when the baby comes" (I'm not a bear, and I can't hibernate, and I have to go to work because they sure as hell aren't going to pay me not to, so what do you want me to do?) and how you should enjoy date nights now because you won't have any more for awhile (YOU try to enjoy a date night when you weigh fifty pounds more than usual, have to squeeze into the booth, can't have a glass of wine, and really just want to be on the couch with a bucket of chocolate icing and/or sleeping) (I am totally guilty of telling pregnant ladies both of these, by the way).

So, here are some things I wish I'd known before the newborn stage.  I'm definitely NOT a parenting expert, and I fully recognize that no two moms experience the same thing, and that there's absolutely no way I can cover all the important things I experienced, but here are a few of the big things that I think deserve to be documented. Including some things which probably sound a little negative, but which I think are important to remember, as I know I will forget all this when round two comes around and I revert back to being a walking pregnant zombie who only sees puppies and rainbows in the future.  

1. You won't "know" your baby for awhile:   During pregnancy, I convinced myself that I knew my baby, or that I would immediately know everything about my baby.  But when Scott laid Bailey on my chest for the first time, I was intensely aware that she was a separate individual from me - a fact which had not been true until minutes beforehand.  I knew I loved her, and I was in complete awe of her, but I also knew I didn't KNOW her.  

This lack of knowledge continued for awhile.  Newborns don't smile (at least not in reaction to anything).  They don't hug.  Nor do they give any sign that they think of you as anything other than a milk machine.  The only way they communicate is crying when you do something wrong or don't anticipate their needs before they have them.  Or when you just change their diaper and/or clothing.  The baby's inability to provide any positive interaction or reaction for the first few weeks of life results in a very one-sided relationship. Despite the wonderful snuggly moments that also occur during this time, I definitely struggled with this one-sidedness a little bit.

[note: the interaction gets better every single day.  Around 6 to 8 weeks, you'll start to see some truly sincere smiles that will make your heart melt and make you finally realize that you very well may be doing something right.  While I won't say it's before you know it - because I still distinctly remember those first seemingly unending, blurry, sleep-deprived weeks - I will say that very soon, you will have a babbling, smiling, mess of a baby who will show you just how much she loves you by jumping up and down and giving a joyful cry when you walk into the room, as she just wants to hug on you and give you slobbery open-mouthed kisses that will get your hair all sticky and mess up your work outfits.  And then you'll KNOW you're doing something right and start fighting the urge to have another baby.]

2.  Even though you don't know your baby, she or he will be the most beautiful baby you've ever seen:  I could - and often would - literally stare at Bailey almost all day, overcome with how beautiful she was.  I would take picture after picture with my iPhone, digital camera, and any other recording device I could find, just trying to capture the beauty I saw before me.  We literally have hundreds of photos and many, many of videos - even of her doing nothing, or just waking up - because we just couldn't get enough of her (now that I think about it, I'm not sure this stage ever ended for me....she's still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen).

3.  Breastfeeding can be really, really HARD:  I know we've already covered this - and I know it's not that hard for everyone, so I don't want to beat a dead horse.  But just in case, do yourself a favor and take a class.  Talk to people who have been successful and actually LISTEN (I had a hard time with that). Also, please realize that even if you don't nurse, feeding a baby is work, and it's work that the mom is going to do 90% of the time, no matter how supportive your husband is.

But also, cut yourself some slack.  If you have a hard time, or even if you just don't like it - please realize that formula is there for a reason.  And your baby will only be happy and healthy when YOU are happy and healthy.  If you still don't believe me, read this (oops - just fixed the link to go to the first page of the article instead of the third - sorry if that was confusing!).

3.  The worst sound in the whole world is hearing your baby cry:  I'm honestly not sure anything could ever have prepared me for the panic and extraordinary level of stress that comes with hearing your baby cry and not knowing what to do about it, or not being able to do something about it immediately, or even the constant anxiety you feel when your baby's not crying, because you know that he or she could cry AT ANY MOMENT.  Scott and I were already sleep-deprived and stressed, but when Bailey started crying we I would get all twitchy and panicked and we'd usually end up snapping at each other or fighting over what to do.  All that mattered was getting her to Stop. Crying. 

This is somewhat embarassing to admit, but one night we ended up in the ER because Bailey had screamed (not fussed, not cried.  SCREAMED!) for literally 3 hours almost non stop (just in case you think we were totally overreacting, we only made the trip after talking to our pediatrician, who heard Bailey's screaming over the phone and recommended that we go) (another sidenote about this visit - Scott was right, they didn't find anything wrong, and it happened while I was still nursing, about 3 days before we learned Bailey was not gaining even nearly enough weight.  So, with the benefit of hindsight, I'm pretty sure this screaming episode was caused solely from the fact that she was so hungry - I did try to nurse her, but she wouldn't calm down enough to do it, and apparently it wouldn't have helped anyway.  Talk about mommy guilt - that was literally the worst night of my life, as I very nearly injured some nurses for making my sweet less-than-2-week-old cry (even harder than she had been) by putting her IV and catheter in.  Uhhh.)

4.  You have to give up some control:  As a mom, you soon realize that, no matter how wonderful your husband and family are, you are going to end up doing 90% of the work.  Even if you're not nursing, your maternal instincts, or hormones, or whatever, will cause you to push everyone out of the way to get to your baby when he or she cries.  Plus, your husband will probably go to work, and you'll take care of your baby all day long.

While this is wonderful bonding time, it will likely lead you to develop some strong opinions on how your baby should be cared for, and when your husband, or your mom, or anyone else, decides to help by putting YOUR baby down for a nap, or changing her diaper, or giving her a bottle, you will literally want to scream.  And if you're sleep deprived enough, you will.  Because what if they don't put the diaper on right?  What if they don't scrub their hands for exactly 37 seconds before touching anything that could potentially go in your baby's mouth?  Oh my gosh, they're not going to say the prayer you always say before you put your baby to sleep.  They're not going to whisper "time to go night night" and your baby is going to be so confused and will probably be up all night and then WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!?! (hint: nothing different).  (p.s. Scott has informed me that others will have some of the same thoughts in reverse, but MOM is always right . . . right?).

This explains it all.  And yes, new mama, back off the crazy train and just let your husband and/or mom do what he or she will do.  I promise, you will be pleasantly surprised, and you will also enjoy being able to use the bathroom or fix dinner without a baby in your arms.

5.  You need to enjoy every minute:  I know, I tried to stay away from the generally true cliches, but this one can't be said enough.  You have no idea, but you will soon miss this sleep-deprived, no difference between day and night, snuggly, squeaky life.  Take your time, snuggle that baby up, and just enjoy the ride.  I'm definitely still learning every day how much I don't know about this parent thing, but this is one lesson that I'm taking to heart for EVERY stage.

Easter Baby!

We had a great time celebrating Bailey's first Easter in Knoxville!

(photos by AK Vogel)

On our first day there, Scott and Mo were nice enough to watch Bailey while having mother/son bonding time:

Which meant that I could go and have some good bonding time with my mom!  First, we went Easter dress shopping for me, because I still can't quite fit into my cute dresses that would have worked  deserved to feel special on Easter too:

Then, we went to get pedicures and manicures (thanks mom and dad)!  It was so fun to just relax and hang out with my mom and get my nails done, and it will be even better when Bailey is old enough to join us.  We both got the gel/shellac type of manicure since it's supposed to last a super long time - but I've since heard from a couple of people that it may cause some issues with your nails when you want the polish to come off.  I'll keep you updated, but I have to say that I'm pretty impressed that my nails still look great now.  That's definitely a record for me, as I seem to always chip and/or smear my nails on the drive home from the nail salon, if I even make it that far:

 (3 days after the manicure! Amazing!)

Then, on Saturday morning, Scott, Bailey, and I had a photo shoot in the morning with the best photographer ever (which was when the above picture of Bailey in bunny ears was taken).  After that, Bailey had a fun playdate with some sweet Knoxville friends, Will Kizer and Anna Kate Petree:

 (I love this picture - Bailey looks so proper and girly and Will kinda looks like he's checking her out, ha!  Thanks Julie)



These cute babies had a lot of fun playing and I had a great time catching up with their moms.  Bailey had so much fun that when we were leaving, she gave Will one of her sweet open mouth kisses on the cheek, it was really cute (clearly I haven't taught her the never kiss on the first playdate rule).  I love the thought that Bailey, Will, and Anna Kate could be future members of the same high school class and group of friends just like their moms (and Will's dad).  I can't wait to move back to Knoxville and have more playdates with all the sweet babies there. 

On Saturday afternoon, Scott (a.k.a. the dog whisperer) started finding chores to do around my parents' house - poor guy has no projects or even lawn work to do since we're currently living in a cardboard box an apartment, so I think he loved getting to do some manly work:

Bailey got to hang out with her Mimi:

While Pops made some Easter eggs:

Then, on Saturday night, Mimi and Pops were so sweet to babysit while Scott and I went out and caught up with a group of my high school friends.  We had a great dinner at Pero's and enjoyed drinks on the patio.  While we may have stayed out past our bedtime, it was definitely worth every second and so fun to hang out!

On Easter Sunday, things didn't quite go as planned - because we had stayed out a little too late and didn't wake her up early enough kept Bailey's schedule on central time, she was still asleep at 8 a.m., and church started at 9 a.m.  (She slept SO well at my parents' house!  What the heck?)  So, by the time we got her up, fed, and dressed, and dressed ourselves, we were already 15 minutes late for church and didn't have time to get any family pictures of us all dressed up.  Then, while Bailey was wonderful and sweet and happy during church, she faded fast when we got out and fell asleep immediately on the way home, so we took off her Easter dress and put her down for a short nap.  By the time she was up, we'd all changed out of our church clothes.  Thankfully, Bailey, Scott, and I had worn our Easter clothes for part of our photo shoot on Saturday morning (in case you can't tell, I am SO excited about our pictures!), and so I'm quite certain that we'll have some excellent pictures of the three of us in them, but I'm kinda sad we didn't get any pictures actually ON Easter of us and Bailey with her grandparents while we were all dressed up.  Oh well, there's always next year.

After her nap, Bailey played with some of her Easter stuff:

And I overcompensated for my failure to get pictures of her in her Easter dress by taking a bunch of pictures of her with her great grandmother and grandparents in her casual outfit which we had to put on after she had a little "accident' on the cute bubble sweet Loucinda got her: 

Bailey and Mamaw (my dad's mom)

Bailey and Mo

Bailey and Pops

Bailey and Mimi

Bailey with Mimi and Pops (I wish this was a video - she kept smiling and laughing while jumping up and down in Mimi's arms.) 

I have honestly never seen Bailey as animated and excited as she was all day on Easter before we left Knoxville.  Maybe it was all the great sleep she was getting (seriously, what's up with that?), but I really think that she could sense that it was a special day, and I KNOW that she loved being the center of everyone's attention at my parents' house.  She was just SO happy - it was so much fun!

Happy girl with her dad!

Family picture! (obviously I should have kept my Easter dress on, as this one looks really tight awkward, and I probably should have showered done something with my hair - oops)

Bailey with the Easter Bunny cake made by Mo! 

(B definitely stuck her hand right into the bunny's ear right after this picture, it was classic)

 "He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay."  Matthew 28:6.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend! 

Some Very Important Questions

First, some background:

Bailey may or may not be wearing 12 month old clothes to daycare today. Said 12 month old clothes may or may not be about the right length but a TEENSY bit tight.  Said tightness may or may not be a continuing trend with almost all the 12 month pants and shirts we have put on her so far (thankfully, the bubbles and dresses have been excluded from the tightness....so far).

Now, my Very Important Questions:  

Why is my little girl growing up so fast? 

Since we inherited most all of these clothes, could they ALL have been shrunk a bit?

Or.....does this mean Bailey should be wearing EIGHTEEN MONTH CLOTHES even though she will only be seven months old next week? 

Are we growing a giant superhuman?

If so, how can we capitalize on that?

More importantly, how in the world am I ever going to get pictures of her in all the ADORABLE 12 month clothes we have for her before she completely outgrows them?

Also, can we freeze time for a minute?  I really need some more baby snuggle time (although maybe not at 5:30 a.m., which has been her preferred snuggle time lately) before she outgrows me.

New Trick!

Bailey has a new trick:

(Please ignore my high-pitched, overly excited voice, but clearly I was, well, overly excited)

Also - here is maybe my new favorite random internet baby video - and in the words of Daniel Tosh, who is definitely cute and funny, "I'll have what she's having":



(Sorry, I can't figure out how to make this video a size that is not obnoxiously large, but one day I'll figure this whole blogging thing out!)

Funny and Cute!

Tina Fey is a genius: http://melodygodfred.com/2011/04/15/a-mothers-prayer-for-its-child-by-tina-fey/ This story (post? article? funny thing?) made me laugh.  Then the end made me cry like a baby.  Don't worry, it's not sad - its touching and funny and TRUE - crying is just what I do when I see sweet/touching things and am barely surviving on five and a half hours of sleep because I have terrible judgment and decide to rely on the fact that Bailey has been sleeping until at least 7:30 the last week or so by going to bed at midnight.  So if anyone sends me an email forward with a video of a dog rescuing his injured doggie friend from the middle of the street or a baby elephant getting pulled out of the water by the adult elephants just when you get all scared that the baby's never going to get out, some ugly crying may or may not occur (hint: it definitely will).   Just in case you were wondering, I'm not a genius.

Also - yes, this really happened last week:

Yes, that is Bailey, naked except for a diaper and in a grossly dirty bib and matching grossly dirty face (of course she would do a cute thing like this when she had food all over her and was not wearing one of her zillions of cute outfits), fast asleep (she was even doing a soft little adorable snore) in her high chair, halfway through her dinner.  Our sweet little baby who REFUSES to sleep at daycare decided she needed a cat nap to get her through the rest of dinner and bath/story time.  And that's ok. 

Also, this is not really funny, but it's pretty cute - the growing relationship between Reilly and Bailey is so fun to watch.  Bailey gets so excited when she sees Reilly and lets out a huge belly laugh when she watches Reilly chase her ball around the living room. Reilly loves to give Bailey kisses, and she's a lot more tolerant of Bailey's hair pulling than I am (when she gets a good grip, especially on the little baby hairs that won't go back in a ponytail, it really makes me want to say very bad words).  Look at this cuteness:

Weekend Comfort

Our little family had a wonderful weekend. On Friday night, we stayed in and Scott and I ate Mexican takeout from the Happy Mexican.  (YUMMERS - I highly recommend the Margarita Special, with the cheese on the side, we all know why).

Then, on Saturday, it was COLD and windy, but we got ourselves out of the cardboard box apartment and shopped around to find Bailey an Easter dress!  We've been SO incredibly lucky to have inherited the vast majority of Bailey's clothes from my sister and Scott's sister -  we've been completely spoiled by having our choice of super cute baby clothes without having to buy more than a few items.  I honestly think that's been one of the only things to keep my very frugal husband from completely going insane about all the random expenses of parenthood.  But, even though there are some really cute dresses in B's closet that would be perfect for Easter, both smocked and not, I decided that every little girl needed to celebrate her first Easter with a new dress (even though my husband thought I was crazy).  I got an Easter dress every year growing up, and I still remember feeling so special when I wore it for the first time to church on Easter Sunday.  So, I had to get sweet Bailey started off right! I can't post any pictures, first because we haven't put it on her yet, but also because I don't want to ruin the surprise.  But here's a hint - we got it from Janie and Jack.  

On Saturday night, Scott and I got a date night and Bailey got to spend the evening with Bubba and Deborah. Although we were unable to get a reservation at any of our preferred dinner destinations because my indecisive husband wouldn't make up his mind until Saturday afternoon prom kids had booked them all up, we still had a great time. We started off with drinks and fried pickles at Folk's Folly. Which, by the way, is a great start to a date night. The drinks were reasonably priced and poured generously, and they bring you FREE fried pickles! And, just in case you haven't had them, these are NOT your normal, fried appetizer plate from Newby's (oh sometimes I miss law school) fried pickles. Oh, nooooo. These dill-pickle-chip fried pickles are breaded and fried and have almost a funnel-cake-like consistency. Which sounds weird, but I've become a fried pickle connoisseur since living in Memphis, and I'm confident that these may very well be the best in the city. If I was a good blogger, I would have taken a picture, but just trust me and order a couple of drinks, nicely ask the waiter to bring you a side of ranch and to keep the pickles coming, and wear a dress so you don't have to worry about being able to breathe in your already too-tight skinny jeans you thought you could squeeze back into.

Since our dinner choices were decidedly limited, we ended up trying out SOB (South of Beale) a gastropub-type place in downtown Memphis.  Again, I realize any decent blogger (which clearly I am not) would have taken pictures, but, you have to take my word for it, I was pretty impressed. Granted, they got on my good side VERY quickly by starting us off with a complimentary bowl of oiled-and-spiced up popcorn, but the most impressive part of our meal was the seared tuna appetizer.  It was a delicious fried rice ball topped with seared tuna, avocado, and chive, served sushi-style with a large ramekin of soy sauce.  I honestly kind of wish I'd just ordered that for my meal, because after the fried pickles and popcorn, I was stuffed, but I still managed to put a pretty good dent in my pork chop and macaroni and cheese, and Scott enjoyed his duck and potato spinach gratin.  All in all, it was a great meal and a terrific night with my incredible husband - there's just something to be said for a night out together without a baby that, maybe because of its rarity these days, leads to honest and amazingly heartfelt conversations.   I highly recommend it!

Unfortunately, for some reason (ok, probably because we pretty much never go out), despite our decidedly moderate alcohol intake which was spread over 5 plus hours, our date night also led to terrible hangovers headaches the next day which left us both in need of some serious comfort food on Sunday night.  So, I fixed this: 

(Please ignore the gross counters - we all know I'm not a chef - but clearly I'm not a housekeeper either.  Oh. Well.)

So - this is my go-to, 4 ingredient, no chopping, man-pleasing, prepped in 20 minutes, all-time favorite recipe (thanks sister!).  It is so simple I'm almost embarrassed to share it, but let's face it, it's a great hangover cure comfort food and it's also an AMAZINGLY easy dinner to bring to those with new babies if you cut it in half and keep the other half for yourself (unless you're feeling generous), add some bread, a salad, and a bottle of wine, or you can make it and freeze it for yourself if you're currently pregnant and planning ahead (fyi, if I know you and you're pregnant and you live within 30 minutes of me, please know that there is approximately a 100% chance I will bring this to you when you have your baby, along with the aforementioned bread and salad and wine.  So, get excited!)

Here is the recipe - enjoy!

1 box penne pasta (I use the Ronzoni smart choice pasta)

1 lb sausage (I use the reduced fat Jimmy Dean)

3-4 cups shredded mozzarella (this is totally up to you - I usually use one bag in the pasta part, and 1 cup on top, but you can reduce as your waistline/metabolism permits)

1 jar pasta sauce (whatever you want)

Red pepper (to your liking, and only if you like spice - Scott is totally anti-spice, so I just add my own to the bowl after serving, and it tastes great either way)

- Preheat oven to 350 degrees

- Cook pasta al dente

- While you're cooking the pasta, brown sausage until it's not pink anymore

- Combine pasta, pasta sauce, 2 cups of cheese, and sausage

- Mix well

- Top pasta mixture with 1-2 cups cheese

- Bake for 30-45 minutes (until it is a little brown on top)

Then, if you're like me, prepare for the following: (1) your husband to eat 2 huge helpings, (2) you to "try" to eat one small-ish helping (and several small "bites" while cooking - you know, just to make sure it tastes ok), (3) your husband to finish off the WHOLE PAN the next night, and (4) to have no other plans for cooking the rest of the week.  

Oh, the glamorous life.  

The Baby Weight Chronicles - Part I: Packing It On

[Preface: This started out as one post, but then it got SUPER long and obnoxious - even for me - so I decided to split it up.  This is Part I - it ends before the losing begins.  So be sure to check out Part II (coming soon)!  And since the baby weight saga is not even close to being over, this will likely have multiple parts - at least until I lose all motivation and get a new wardrobe the extra lbs are gone.]

Before I found out I was pregnant, I was following a weight watcher points-type plan in order to maintain my weight (I've struggled with weight issues pretty much my whole life, and I have to modify weight watchers for it to be effective for me.  It recommends keeping track of your exercise and allowing whatever exercise you do to increase the amount of calories you can eat under the "points" model. This flat-out does NOT work for me - I have to get in an hour of cardio six days a week, minimum, and only then can any "extra" exercise be used to increase what I can eat.  Apparently I was MIA on the day God handed out metabolisms).  My plan, while requiring pretty serious dedication, allowed me some wiggle room on weekends and was maintainable, as long as I kept a close watch on the fat girl in my head (I love me some foreshadowing, a harbinger if you will).

Despite following my plan pretty strictly, I weighed about 5 lbs more than usual, thanks to the holidays, when I found out I was pregnant on January 22. But, unlike usual, I couldn't just get a little more strict with myself for a few weeks to lose that weight. After all, I was pregnant.

Like any good pregnant and paranoid lawyer, I extensively researched things like what the "experts" recommended for levels of exercise and calorie intake during pregnancy and increased my calorie intake based on that.  When I hit about the 8th week of pregnancy, my usual weekday 5:30 a.m. workouts became impossible due to my body's new requirement of 9-10 hours of sleep per night in order to be even marginally productive during the day, and after work I was usually so exhausted that I couldn't bring myself to do anything more than walk around the block with Reilly and Scott.  I wasn't one of those lucky pregnant ladies that can't eat, throw up a whole lot, and end up losing a bunch of weight during the first trimester (ok, ok, I know they're not really LUCKY, and I'm sure their sickness is far worse than my mere nausea, which was actually pretty miserable.  But that doesn't mean I don't sometimes think that I would trade the baby weight I'm still holding on to for a few weeks of miserable sickness).  Rather, I was one of those with constant, flu-like nausea during the first trimester that was only relieved by eating small amounts of cheezits, popcorn, "puff" corn, now & laters, watermelon, cereal, pretzels and cheese dip (seriously yum), and enything else I decided I wanted and was available within a .5 mile radius of my desk.  This snacking happened almost all. day. long.

Despite my almost constant snacking at work and lack of exercise, I had only gained 2 pounds (on top of the 5 extra I was already carrying) at my 11 week OB appointment, which was right on track with my plan to gain between 25-35 pounds during the 40 weeks of pregnancy.

After learning I wasn't gaining much weight despite my bad exercise and snacking habits, the the fat girl who lives in my head started sounding more credible and, unfortunately, I started to listen to her.  In short, my inner fat girl quickly convinced me that my workout/calorie management plan (which had helped me to lose the massive amount of weight I gained in college due to some extremely poor food and alcohol decisions AND which barely maintained my not-too-thin figure) was far too strict and clearly unnecessary, especially during pregnancy.

So, I didn't do anything crazy, but I did stop tracking my caloric intake and continued with my snacking, although it was less constant once the nausea subsided.  I maintained a reasonable(ish) level of exercise, but nothing like I'd done before.

Then, I think it was at my 15 week doctor appointment, the first during my second trimester, my weight gain JUMPED.  I'm talking 8-9 pounds in 4 weeks.

This was NOT, I repeat NOT, in the plan.

I tried to reverse it.  I tried to shut my inner fat girl up and get back to working out - even for just 30 minutes - every day I could get the energy to do it.  I stopped keeping my snacks in my desk. 

The weight kept piling up.  It wouldn't stop.  It probably didn't help that my inner fat girl was pretty much in control now and had me doing things like buying chocolate icing "for the brownies I would make while my nieces visited" (which I polished off a week before they arrived) and regularly eating half a watermelon in one sitting for my lunch "dessert" (don't judge me - it was summertime in Memphis, it was HOT (2nd hottest summer on record here!) - and they were damn good.)

I did test out of gestational diabetes, although just barely.  I failed the first test, then apparently passed the 2nd long test - even though the 2nd test made me so sick and exhausted I thought I had to have failed, and my OB mentioned at one point that she thought I was "pretty close" to having it.  It has occurred to me that I may have had a very minor case that somehow cheated its way through the second test.  I plan to be very cautious about this possibility during my next pregnancy, and may even ask to go on a modified GD diet just in case.  I'm not even kidding.

Anyway, the pounds kept coming until here I was, a full 52 pounds later:

(Confession: even though this post is somewhat complaining about my excessive weight gain during pregnancy, I actually love these pictures and the way my body looks in them, and especially the fact that they were taken only a few nights before Bailey arrived (even though I intentionally made them pretty small - blame it on a little paranoia about perverts the internet.)  Even though all the pregnant ladies I've seen lately, including the ones that are only a few short weeks away from their due dates, seem to be about half this size (including a girl having triplets - I mean really could she be any more adorable?), these pictures truly leave me in awe of what my body was able to do to bring Bailey into this world.  Plus my hair and makeup look pretty flippin' good.)

So...........how much weight came off after having Bailey?  Was ANY of it just bloat from that miserably hot summer? (Did I mention it was the 2nd hottest on record in Memphis? Because it totally was.) (Also, did I mention that Bailey was 8 lbs 13 ozs? Because she totally was.)

Check back soon for Part 2!!!

ZOO fun!

Last weekend, we found ourselves with a beautiful Saturday, temperatures in the 70's, and a beautiful little girl who had just turned six months old.  After I went to a fun baby shower, we had a gorgeous afternoon to kill and decided we should celebrate sweet Bailey's half birthday with her very first trip to the zoo!

Scott and I LOVE the zoo and were definitely one of those semi-creepy couples - or at least it seemed that way at the time - who would spend way too much money pretty Saturdays at the zoo just the 2 of us amid the waves of screaming children and exhausted parents, sitting through the seal shows and trying to catch a glimpse of the polar bear swimming past the window pawing at his big red ball.  

For the first time, we were the exhausted parents (the random couples aren't so weird, by the way), and the zoo was even more amazing!  Bailey is still too young to really appreciate the animals, but we had so much fun picking her up and showing her everything and (of course) taking fun pictures.  

First, we checked out the tigers: 

Then we checked out the giraffes - aka real-life Sophies 

Bailey was so excited after this that she threw her actual Sophie out of her stroller at some point, leading me into a slight panic that resulted in a new Sophie being purchased the next day - which was, of course, the day before the zoo called to tell us someone had turned in Bailey's Sophie (they called it "the giraffe that squeaks") to the lost and found.  Oh, the many, MANY unnecessary expenses joys of parenting.

Then we checked out the bears:

And answered the age-old question of "Does a bear poop in the zoo?": 

 (Answer....yes!)

Bailey got a little sleepy during our stroll past some monkeys:

We thought she was going to keep napping through the pandas....

But then she got a second wind: 

She and her dad had fun watching the orangutans (as fellow gingers, I think they share a subconscious bond):

She told her dad who was #1, while wearing her adorable sunglasses (thanks Mimi and Pops):

On our way out, we got to hear the coolest thing ever - this lion was roaring so loudly, it sounded fake at first:

Then Bailey left the zoo on her dad's shoulders, the happy place of all little girls: 

"Mom, are you coming too?"  

[Random, off-topic sidenote confession...these are the first pictures since Bailey was born (not that I've taken that many) that have really made me feel like I look like a MOM.  Not a fun, young, cute-dressed mom, but the real, kinda sleepy, knit-dress-wearing kind of mom that still needs to lose those last 15 lbs of baby weight (that's a whole 'nother blog post, already in the works).  Kind of bittersweet, but this little girl is worth any and every gray hair and spare ounce.  Look at that smile!]

The 'ville

As anticipated, we had an amazing weekend in Louisville.  

Bailey and her cousin Mary Preston had so much fun!  

Preston had a great time swinging with Bailey: 

Preston even shared her pretty mama (and their little min-pin Willis) with sweet Bailey:

(Does anyone else think Bailey's head looks a little, ahem, large-ish in this picture?  She's in the 90th percentile in everything as of her last checkup, so she's proportional, but this picture just cracks me up, head-size wise!)

She even let Bailey hang out with her dad: 

Preston also tried to suffocate Bailey shared her bath (and her bath toys) with Bailey: 

(really really trying to get this video to work - it said it did earlier so hopefully it will again?  Sorry if not - it's really cute!)

I can't believe how big Mary Preston (now mostly known as "Preston") has gotten.  

Preston was so sweet and such a good entertainer/sharer with Bailey, it was so fun to watch.  She has definitely gotten much more comfortable with Bailey since the awestruck/gentle baby poke stage.

It was a beautiful weekend and we had a great time hanging out with Tracy, Omar, and Mary Preston.  Scott and I even had kind of a randomly awesome "mini-date" where, instead of heading to Preston's best friend's birthday party on time as planned, we drove around Louisville together in order let Bailey take a much-needed nap in her car seat.  It was wonderful to get some semi-alone time together and see some of the amazing houses of Louisville and a cool park.  

I *promise* to get my schmidt together this week and get a zoo post up and try to get to more of my mental blog posts.  Hope everyone enjoyed this amazing weekend!

Catching Up and Required Reading

Somehow it's Friday already and I haven't gotten a chance to put together a post on our super fun trip to the zoo last weekend.  And now we're off to Louisville to see Scott's sister this weekend and I know I'll have to do a post about that, since nothing is cuter than 2 little red-headed cousins. I also have some other ideas for posts on my "mental blog list" in my head that I want to get to next week.  But then it will probably be next weekend already.  Blogging is hard. 

We've had a pretty good week, but can't seem to shake what I call the "daycare curse" of almost constant sickness.  Bailey's actually been sleeping well (yes I am crossing my fingers behind my back to hopefully avoid jinxing this sweet, sweet blessing we have so very much enjoyed please please don't take it away).  But she's also been coughing, and snotting (pretty sure that's not a word, but you get the point), and yesterday she decided to refuse to drink her bottles at daycare.   Then she came home and scared the bejeeze out of me by falling asleep while jumperooing and taking a nap in her crib before having her last feeding, which she never does unless she's really sick. 

BUT then she drank two great bottles for me last night, slept well (or at least well enough not to wake me in the next room - our outrageously expensive video monitor crapped out on us the other night, so we've been trusting my mommy ears until the company sends us a new one, which is pretty safe considering the size of our cardboard box tiny apartment - which is a whole other post in and of itself, I need to write these down) and there was less snottage this morning, so I'm hoping we are on the upside of this mess. 

At this point, I don't remember what it's like to have a non-sick/congested baby, but I'm pretty sure it was kind of awesome. 

Anyway - if you're even still reading this -  that was not where was I going with this post, I don't know where that ramble came from. Here we go, back to the point - I'm obviously completely out of it today pretty new to this whole blogging thing (I only really started looking at blogs when my sweet friend from high school who has a great blog which you should check out told me about hers).  I'm really enjoying it, and I'm also having a great time finding fun new blogs to read, as you can tell from my ever growing list of blog links. 

So here are some links to blogs I have recently discovered and really like - for obvious reasons, most of them are mom-related, but I'm fairly confident even those without babies will find these blogs very entertaining.

Check them out and have a great weekend, y'all!

Rants from Mommyland: This is my current every day must read, and I usually end up reading several posts.  "Kate" and "Lydia" are have a great perspective on mommyhood.  They also almost make me pee my pants spew whatever I am drinking (hint: usually wine) all over my computer screen because they are THAT funny.

Spilled Milk:  A full-time lawyer and  mom (wow that sounds familiar) with an honest and funny blog.  She gets super extra bonus points for the Steel Magnolia's quote from Annelle as her blog tagline (I really want to match her with the "If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me" quote, but I can't bring myself to be that big of a blog copycat. Yet.)

Elefantitas Alegres: Lawyer Kate married a lawyer and loves wine (hmmm that also sounds familiar).  She's basically that cool, well-traveled, organized, great at design, super-cute-dressing, menu-planning girl that I kind of want to be, but just am not. 

Ashley Quite Frankly:  Funny mama to two hilarious boys that really seem to be the boy versions of my two sweet nieces (older one is rule-following sweetheart, younger is, well, NOT).   I commented on one of her posts the other day that she should teach a class of "How to be an awesome mom and raise cool kids" or something like that and I firmly stand by that.

Her friends are sluts: I think when I first discovered this blog I ended up reading, like, a year's worth of her posts in one sitting.  Great writing.