Earning your mommy juice

1.  I'm fairly certain I am, or at least should be, on the suspected meth makers/users list because of all the generic Sudafed I have bought this year to treat my unending sinus problems.  Seriously, is it really necessary to make me feel all super illegal methhead-ish by making me give you my license and electronically sign some statement promising I'll never ever make meth ever, or something like that (I wouldn't know because I've never read it - what do you think I am, a lawyer)?  Does this process actually prevent the determined methheads of the world, who don't really seem like the type of super honest people who would shrink from lying on an electronical form, from purchasing their ingredients?  And am I the only one who finds themselves exaggerating their very real sinus problems when purchasing their "Walphed" simply because they don't want to be mistaken for a methhead or methhead enabler?

Anyway, I had a sinus/ear infection in February, so I took antibiotics for about 12 days, which apparently only ticked off my sinuses, because they are taking revenge big time.  While I have no real snot (just clear liquid leaking - aren't you glad I shared that?) for the first time in months, my face feels like it may explode, and as along as it takes my constantly aching right temple with it, I won't miss it.  Just for fun, my chest now hurts when I take even a semi-deep breath.  Plus, I've been so lethargic that I haven't been able to get in a decent workout for the last week or so and have been stuffing my face instead.   

Just in case you're wondering, I'm finally going to the doctor (getting on the scale, yay!) tomorrow.

2.  [Note: This happened last week, but because I have an unhealthy habit of mulling over unpleasant things that happen to me until its too late and I have no one to take it out on except my husband, I'm just sharing it now.]

Last week after the pediatrician diagnosed Bailey's ear infection and a half, we went to the Walgreens drive through (thru?  I don't even know, and I don't have the energy to look it up, blame the sinuses) to get her prescription filled.  The seemingly non-sadistic lady at the window knew the prescription was for antibiotics and knew it was for an individual born on 10/1/10, as I told her both of these things.  Presumably, she could also see the car seat right in front of her which held a very pathetic-looking sick baby.  So, when she asked me when I wanted to pick the prescription up and I said "as soon as possible" and she told me 45 minutes, I gritted my teeth, gave her the benefit of the doubt, and drove around town for 45 minutes wasting expensive gas and trying to calm a halfway sleeping Bailey down every time we drove over potholes and/or speed bumps (which happens a lot in Memphis) because they made her ear hurt worse and she would cry. 

Well, my patience began to crumble slightly when we promptly returned to Walgreens 45 minutes later, only to sit in the drive through for approximately 11 minutes and 37 seconds before anyone even acknowledged us (even though I could SEE a pharmacist in the window who politely ignored me while I used all of my strength to refrain from laying on the horn, NYC style, until someone brought my child her medicine).  When the lady who had previously told me it would take 45 minutes for them to prepare my prescription finally bothered to show her face at the window, she then proceeded to have the pharmacist make Bailey's prescription in 45 seconds.  Right in front of me.  Where I could see her.

Now, maybe they were busy, I get that, but why in the world was it so much better to make a poor sick baby wait almost an hour before preparing her prescription in 45 seconds?  Was this 45 seconds THAT much more convenient to them than the 45 seconds an hour ago?  

Who knows, maybe that lady was on crystal meth.  Lucky for Walgreens, I'll settle for wine. 

Oh, did I forget to mention....

Bailey also showed off a BRAND NEW TOOTH this past weekend!!!!

Ok, so maybe we are just miserable at finding new teeth, or maybe Bailey is just great at hiding them (she keeps that tongue stuck out pretty well when we try to look) because it is pretty big already, but Scott and I just noticed this past Saturday that Bailey's first tooth has a new (and sharp!) little buddy in there.   

Here is a picture of Bailey's cute little bottom front teeth with the settings intentionally altered to make them more obvious (it is tough to capture these little suckers on film - or memory card, or whatever you're supposed to call it these days): 

Also, praise heaven and pass the ammunition, we are down to just one waking a night.  Unfortunately, it's at 5 a.m. and she will not go back to sleep without being fed, which doesn't really make sense because we don't give her a full bottle and all it does is reduce the amount she will drink at her first feeding of the day, which she used to consistently finish when she slept through the night.  To me, this indicates that she should just start sleeping through the night and just eating her breakfast.   Can someone tell her that?  Please and thank you. 

New tricks!

So . . . even after she was diagnosed with having one pretty bad ear infection and another one on the way (poor sweet baby!), Bailey decided to show off some pretty fun new tricks for us this weekend (in between doses of amoxicillin).  

Namely - Bailey started sitting up on her own, both with and without support, and even managed to not fall down when Scott leaned her up against her walker stand up for a little while on her walker toy!  

Here is a video of her sitting up and playing - if you get motion sickness, you may not want to watch, as my videotaping has a distinct Blair Witch Project-ish feel to it.  I'm going to have to work on that, but this is still pretty cute: 

She also bonded with Reilly a little bit from her new sitting position: 

Of course, I had to take full advantage of the new excuse for pictures in order to capture her wearing one of my favorite sweaters, as we hopefully won't have any more cold weather for her to wear it in before she is way too big for it :( 

And, last but not least, here is a picture of her not falling down while leaning on her walker showing off her walking skills: 

Also, start getting excited, we have a HUGE milestone next week, as Bailey will be SIX MONTHS OLD!  I am already getting super excited about the 6 month photo shoot.  Yes, I realize how nerdy it is that these are the things you get excited about as a mom, and I love it.

Spiked temps and belly laughs

So today when I picked Bailey up from daycare, they told me her temperature had been just under 100 all day and that she had seemed "off."  As soon as we got home, she passed out (which is WAY unusual - when we get home she almost always refuses to be put down except in her jumperoo for maybe 2 minutes while I make her dinner).  

After she woke up and drank some of a bottle, Scott and I decided to check her temperature because she seemed warm.  The first thermometer we used (a Vick's digital inserted where the sun doesn't shine) read 104!!! I started to kind of freak out, but the second thermometer (inserted in the same unfortunate area - poor Bailey has been violated repeatedly tonight) read 102.4, which was marginally better.  Still freaking out, I called our pediatrician who advised us that they have had some serious fever viruses going around and that we should give her some baby ibuprofen, wipe her down with a warmish wet cloth for 10 minutes or so, then take her temp in 45 minutes and call back.  

She hated the wiping, so Scott decided to distract her with her Sophie toy and we got this cute little video:

It's not exactly her best angle, but don't you just want to squeeze her?  I mean, this is her with a temperature over 100 degrees, and she's still the cutest and sweetest little thing I've ever seen!  Love my sweet pea!  Thankfully, her temp has gone down and we are going to keep it down as much as possible tonight and go to the pediatrician in the morning - I am not in the mood for an ER visit tonight (cross your fingers and say a prayer for us please!)

Now if only I could get her to do something like this, we could go viral: 

Adventures in Sleep Training

(First, a totally irrelevant aside - Do y'all remember the movie Adventures in Babysitting?  The dramatic karaoke solo to "And then he kissed me," bus station hysterics from the best friend, and the scary guy named "Thor?"  Now that was a great movie.)

Another aside - this is another long and personal post, but it's occurred to me that maybe I shouldn't apologize for that.  Apparently when I blog, I go all out.

So - now finally reaching the point of this post - I realize many moms will hate me for what I am about to say, but it has to be said:

When she was approximately 9 weeks old, Bailey began to consistently sleep for more than twelve hours a night (usually from around 7-7:30 until 7:30 or 8 a.m., or even (gasp!) 9 a.m. sometimes on the weekend), unless she was sick. 

I know, I know, pregnant women and anyone else who will listen are constantly subjected to warnings from moms about the lack of sleep that babies bring with them.  And trust me, for the first weeks of Bailey's life, I GOT IT.  I mean, I now fully understand how sleep deprivation can be a form of torture.  No matter how much I tried to "sleep when she slept" as advised, I was a walking zombie.  

We started a modified form of Babywise around 2 weeks (no cry it out, but we tried to follow the eat, wake, sleep model during the day and tried to keep feedings about 2.5 hours apart).  At first, it was miserable (have you ever tried to wake a sleepy newborn who has just drank her way into a milk coma?  WAY harder than it looks in the movies!)  We also didn't see too much of an immediate result - she was still waking up and eating at least once during the night.

But then, around 6 weeks, Bailey slept through the night one night.  Of course, we thought this was just a fluke.  But then a few nights later, she slept through the night again.  This trend slowly continued until (awesomely!!) Bailey was sleeping through the night almost every night.   I got used to this schedule.  I even (mistake!) took it for granted.  I mean, clearly I was the master of baby sleep training, right? 

Apparently not.  

At the beginning of February, Bailey got a tummy bug.  Of course, I knew she needed as many fluids as she could get to avoid dehydration, so I was rushing in her room with a bottle as soon as she would cry for one to give her some fluids and some mama love.  A few days later, she had RSV, so back to night feedings we went.  After two weeks of RSV, she developed an ear infection the next week.  As you can imagine, the night feedings and mama love sessions continued.

So after this long stretch of food comforting at night, we had a baby used to going to bed at 7-7:30 p.m., waking up and drinking 6 oz once a night, and waking up super early for her first bottle (usually around 5:30 am).  I know this sounds like a somewhat normal schedule for most babies and like it should be plenty of sleep for a baby.  I should explain, however, that Bailey refuses to nap for more than thirty to forty-five minutes twice a day at daycare, so she only usually ends up sleeping around an hour and a half total during the day on weekdays (regardless of my sweet little requests that the teachers try to "help" her get a couple of good naps - I truly think she's just too interested in everything that's going on to sleep).   Due to her refusal to sleep at daycare, she clearly needs at least 12-13 hours of sleep per night to even be in the realm of what is normal in a 24 hour period for a baby her age.

Also, DUDE SHE WAS SO GOOD AT SLEEPING WHAT THE EFF HAPPENED AND WHERE DID MY 8 PLUS HOURS OF UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP GO?

Sooooo.....after the ear infection seemed like it should have healed and we began to doubt our teething theory (it's supposed to cause "mild irritability" for a few days/nights, not weeks on end), we visited with the pediatrician to verify that Bailey's ear infection had cleared up and wasn't causing the wakings.  The pediatrician verified that Bailey's ears were clear and opined that Bailey had likely just trained herself to wake up for the night and early feedings while sick and that she would probably need some "tough love" to break herself from her reliance on them. 

In other words, she thought we should try letting Bailey "cry it out." 

As I understand it, the cry it out method involves allowing a baby to cry for a short interval, checking on the baby to let them know you are there, then letting them cry for longer and longer intervals in between checks until they learn that they just need to go to sleep.  The "On Becoming Babywise" book I used to help with Bailey's daily schedule recommends it from as early as 2 weeks old, but many authorities say you shouldn't do it until 4 months.  The cry it out method is beloved by many for its effectiveness, but  also has its fair share of critics.  While I have no criticism of those who have used it and had it work - I know many personally who are incredible moms - I had not ever been able to do this.  While there had certainly been times when I was been exhausted and frustrated and let Bailey fuss for a few minutes until she fell asleep or even cry for a few minutes while I gathered my strength and calmed my own nerves, I just could not bring myself to let her cry for extended periods of time, even if the American Association of Pediatricians recommended it. 

At this point, however, I was ready to try anything.  So I steeled myself for a long night of crying (mine and hers) and planned my own version of crying it out - letting Bailey cry for as long as I could take it a few minutes, comforting her, letting her cry for as long as I could take it a few more minutes, and so on.   When the big moment of crying came, I let her cry for maybe thirty seconds a little while before rubbing on her back and comforting her.  This worked the first night, and she only woke up 2-3 times.  The next night, it progressed to 5-6 wakings, and I realized I was going to have to toughen up.  So, I began giving her a few minutes to cry before I went in, and she began going back to sleep many times before I had even gone back to bed.

Despite our initial progress, my best efforts intentions, and my master sleep training skills (insert eyeroll here), Bailey has not "cried it out" for more than a few minutes at a time, and even then it usually only happens when I'm pretty much knocked out and just don't hear her right off the bat.  We're still dealing with regular night time wake-ups and very early mornings.  I think I've now resigned myself to the early mornings, and I've definitely now realized that if I want to function as a semi-intelligent person (read: not total zombie) at work, I am going to have to head to bed before 11 p.m., workout and/or couch time be damned.

Which begs the question - is Bailey the true master sleep trainer in this family?  I don't think I want to answer that question right now.

Tastes like summer!

First, I should probably mention that I'm not a chef.  I'm not even sure I would call myself a cook.  Unlike the authors of many of the blogs I love to read and whom I totally admire (you mean women can work AND cook?), I don't do meal planning for our weekly meals, I don't usually know exactly what fruits or vegetables are in season, I don't make up my own recipes, and it is not altogether unusual for Scott and me to end up eating frozen foods for dinner.  So, if you're looking for some amazing and creative recipes from blog writers who are much funnier and chef-ier than me, I would suggest you go here or here. 

When I have time, however, I do enjoy cooking, and I can follow a recipe (much to my dad's relief - I'm pretty sure he was convinced that my utter lack of interest in anything kitchen related during my teen years was going to cause me to end up a chubby spinster living among takeout boxes and cats, and I don't even like cats).  Over the last few years, I've gotten a little more ambitious in the kitchen and I've ended up with a few go-to recipes that are both easy and delicious.  

This is one of them, and it may very well be my favorite summer recipe.  I found this recipe for pasta salad on the internet (see how non-cheflike I am?) during law school when I was looking for something to take to a cookout, and I'm pretty sure I've taken some version of it to just about every potluck cookout I've gone to since then.  The basil, tomatoes, and feta blend wonderfully and only get better with time.  I also love it because, like all pasta salads, you can totally adapt it to whatever you are in the mood for or whatever is in the fridge.  

I had to make this tonight because the over 80 degree temperature got my summer fever going:

Basil, Feta and Tomato Pasta Salad 

1 box bow tie pasta

6-8 oz of feta cheese (totally up to you - I love feta and will use this recipe as an excuse to buy 2 blocks, then use all of one and part of the other for the recipe, then sneak bites of the rest until its gone use the rest on salads and pasta)

1 to 1.5 boxes of grape tomatoes 

1 bunch of green onions

Basil (fresh is better, but dried is just fine, and the amount is up to you - I'm a firm believer you can never have too much)

Salt (I prefer a mix of kosher and sea salt)

Pepper (I like fresh ground)

Olive Oil

Red Wine Vinegar

Cook pasta according to package directions.  

While the pasta is cooking, chop both your grape tomatoes and your green onions.  Also, if you're using fresh basil, you're going to want to chop or chiffonade the basil.

When the pasta is done, drain it and cold-shock it by rinsing with cold water. 

Combine cooked pasta with chopped tomatoes and green onions. 

Add your basil, salt, and pepper to taste. 

Finally, add as much olive oil and red wine vinegar as you desire.  I usually pour on several tablespoons of olive oil and pour on a good bit of red wine vinegar (really helpful, I know).  

One thing to note:  the red wine vinegar tends to dry this out a bit the longer it sits and I often have to add olive oil, red wine vinegar, and/or water right before serving, so keep that in mind, especially if you're making it a day ahead.  

Also, in case you thought I was exaggerating about my total lack of meal planning and taste for crappy foods, this is how we had our pasta salad tonight (don't be fooled by my attempt to fancy up the meal and our terrible apartment stove with the granite cutting board): 

Classy, party of two?

-

Mommy fail and we're famous!

So, Bailey was the only child in her "class" at daycare to not wearing green today.  It did not even occur to me that it was St. Patrick's day this morning (I blame Bailey - 6+ wakeups per night do not a focused mommy make).  Plus, I was so excited about the super cute outfit she wore today that we did a little photoshoot before we left for school/work:

I realize this is a total failure on my part, but no one can pinch a baby that cute, can they?  I mean, look at that bow!! (After I wrote this, I noticed that her pants have green dots on them!  So we weren't quite in the league of the kiddos that had on cute "I'm a wee bit Irish" onesies at daycare, but at least I didn't TOTALLY fail!)

Also, due to our continuing troubles with getting Bailey back to sleeping through the night, a phone call from the daycare yesterday informing me that Bailey had cried ALL morning (I picked her up and she slept for 3 hours straight), and a low grade fever last night, I called the pediatrician's office this morning just to see if she thought we needed to come in to have the doctor check her ears again or do anything differently.   No kidding, I got no more than 30 seconds into explaining why I was calling and definitely had NOT said our name before the freaking receptionist interrupted me by saying "Is this Mrs. Hickerson?"

Now, I know I am a first time mom and tend to be a little, ahem, precautious and do not hesitate to call the pediatrician's office when we have issues, but I didn't realize that I have apparently become THAT mom who is so notoriously obnoxious that the office staff knows who I am just from my voice or my description of our baby's issues.  I mean, really?  And even if I am that obnoxious, did she have to call me out?   I think I'm going to choose to look on the bright side and say hey, at least I make an impression!

A kid at heart

Scene: a rockin' new parent Saturday night after Bailey has gone to bed as we settle in with some popcorn and wine to watch Secretariat, a Disney movie I "rented" from Redbox 2 weeks ago which we have just gotten around to watching and therefore have now decided to keep because we've already spent $14 on it, what's $11 more?

We are sitting through various previews for Disney movies, and during the preview for "Tangled" (a seemingly very chick-flick type of animated Disney movie about Rapunzel) my husband came out with this little gem:

Scott:  Won't it be awesome when we can watch these kinds of movies without being weird because Bailey will want to see them?

Me: Did you really just say that out loud?

While his choice of movie previews during which to express this sentiment was somewhat surprising, I really wasn't surprised at the sentiment, as he's made similar comments about cartoons and kids' shows on many occasions.  Indeed, I have come into the den many times (both before and after we found out I was pregnant) to find him watching various cartoons (such as the Avatar, a Nickelodeon cartoon about a kid with an arrow on his head which at one time filled our dvr, but he will watch just about any cartoon).  

I guess he's just practicing.

Uh Oh

We found out how adorable Bailey looks in bows today............

Who would have thought she could get any cuter?  This may quickly become an obsession!

Breast is best

[warning: I apologize in advance for the length and personal nature of this post.  I have contemplated whether or not to post this for over a week.  The experience of writing it was cathartic to me and at first I thought that maybe that was the purpose it was supposed to serve.  There's a very good chance that this post will be interesting to no one but me.  But this is all about being open and honest - even though the vulnerability that comes along with that honesty that scares me - and if by some chance I can somehow help someone to avoid some of the mommy guilt I've experienced, it'll be worth it.] 

Throughout my pregnancy, I, like every pregnant woman I've ever known, knew that I would breastfeed.  I thought I'd do it for at least six months, but I was open to doing it longer. After all, breast is best.  Even the formula companies admit that.  These days, it's common knowledge that breastfeeding reduces ear infections and the chance for asthma, decreases the risk of SIDS, and may even help to prevent obesity.  Plus, it burns calories (something I desperately needed after gaining over fifty pounds a lot of weight during my pregnancy).  My sister did it, my sister-in-law did it.  I just knew I was going to do it.

Well, reality set in quickly after Bailey was born.  We had troubles getting Bailey to latch and stay latched in the hospital (I swear it takes six hands to get and keep a newborn latched, and I just don't have that many!)   Then, when we got Bailey home, she would nurse for hours (at least one 3 hour "feeding" a day) and still seem unsatisfied.  While nursing, she'd cry and hit my breast with her fist in obvious frustration.  I'd cry and wish I could hit something to express my frustration.  I began to dread nursing and even, to some degree, resent the immense responsibility that comes along with it.  But I was determined to continue and Bailey was having dirty and wet diapers, so we kept going.   

Then, at Bailey's two week pediatrician appointment, we got some disheartening, but not completely shocking, news.  Newborns are supposed to gain an ounce per day and should reach their birthweight by two weeks.  Bailey, however, had gained only 4 ounces and wasn't close to reaching her birthweight.  It was pretty clear that she had been, if not starving, extremely hungry for the last two weeks.

Because of Bailey's insufficient weight gain, our pediatrician suggested we supplement with formula.   As  nursing on demand is encouraged in order to build your supply to meet your baby's needs, our pediatrician first suggested that I use a supplemental nursing system which allows the baby to get milk but at the same time stimulates your milk supply.  However, when I went to a lactation consultant to get one, even she couldn't seem to get the supplemental nursing system to work (after I'd paid for it of course).   So after we struck out with that, my pediatrician suggested that we supplement with a bottle of formula after every other nursing session, stating that she had seen other moms do this and return to full-time nursing after a couple weeks of supplementing.  

After Bailey drank from a bottle and had a full belly, it was like a switch had flipped and she was a different baby.  She wasn't screaming and crying ten minutes after a feeding.  It didn't take 3 hours to feed her. She wasn't hitting me.  Coincidentally, I wasn't crying, at least not as much.  But, we KNEW breast was best.  The only problem was, our baby was miserable with the breast, and she was taking our whole family with her.

So, out of a desperate need to know that I wasn't starving my baby and yet still know that she was receiving all the benefits of breastmilk, we decided I would pump and we would feed Bailey my pumped milk out of a bottle.  I pumped at least 8 times a day to match Bailey's feeding schedule and we supplemented with formula as needed (usually not more than an ounce of formula per feeding).  I tried to boost my supply by doing extra "power" pumps, eating vast quantities of oatmeal, and taking 16 horse pills of Fenugreek a day.  I tried to schedule pumpings during naps, but newborns just aren't that predictable, and I'd end up trying to comfort a hungry baby from arm's length because I had cones and bottles attached to my chest.  Even when Bailey began to occasionally sleep through the night, I'd wake up to my alarm and pump because I couldn't lose that milk.  I pumped in the car on road trips to see family.  I pumped so much that my chest was so sore and I'd cry out if Bailey accidentally kicked it.  I was spending at least four hours every day pumping in addition to the time it took to feed Bailey a bottle (at least 30-45 minutes per feeding) and the time it took to wash bottles and pump parts (way more time than you'd think).

Six weeks into pumping, I could no longer ignore the shooting pains.  I also couldn't ignore the white patches on Bailey's gums.  We both had thrush (a yeast infection passed from the breast or breastmilk to the baby's mouth).  I was exhausted and heartbroken, and I felt incredibly guilty for passing on such a (gross) condition to my sweet baby.  I was also scared that, if I continued to pump, the yeast would never go away (note to self: never google health problems, you'll only convince yourself of the worst case scenario).  So, I decided to quit pumping.

Bailey did great with the transition to formula feeding.  I did not.  To this day, I can bring myself to tears thinking about my lack of success at breastfeeding, and even my decision to stop pumping.  I wear myself out considering all my questions surrounding the whole experience.  Was it my fault because I didn't take a breastfeeding class during the pregnancy?  Did I ruin my supply from the start by sending her to the nursery at the hospital those first 3 nights?  Should I have insisted upon nursing exclusively for one more week?  Should I have followed the advice of the lactation consultant and had skin to skin contact with Bailey for at least half an hour before every feeding (but the feedings never ended....?)  Was Bailey unable to nurse efficiently because I used a nipple shield, or because I subsequently tried to quit using the nipple shield?  Was it because I had to have a c-section?  Am I just a quitter?

I will never know the answer to those questions, and my mommy guilt remains.  But a little forgiveness creeps in occasionally.  After my troubles began, I talked to and heard about a number of moms with similar problems.  All of them are great moms.  My own mom, who is not only an amazing mom but also my best friend, had similar problems breastfeeding my sister (my other best friend) and me before resorting to formula, so maybe there's a genetic link. 

I wholeheartedly believe that breast is best, but there is a reason formula exists and is a multi-billion dollar business (I didn't do any research to support that figure, but based on what they charge for the stuff, I think that's a pretty safe assumption). 

I am a firm believer that no mom should ever feel guilty for keeping their child fed and happy, but it's easier said than done.

So, I am actively working to banish my mommy guilt and focus on my beautiful, healthy, and extremely sweet and good-natured baby girl.  One thing is definitely certain:  every time I see this baby's gorgeous smile, I know I'm doing something right. 

(post script: I do plan to nurse our next child, whenever that will be.  I also plan to be more proactive in trying not to turn straight to the bottle.  But at the same time, I don't plan to beat myself up if the same issues happen again.  I guess only time will tell.)

Side-sleeper with a tooth!

Well, as soon as Scott and I went to Chicago this past weekend for our first getaway without our sweet little baby (we will post some pictures soon), Bailey decided to cut her first tooth! Luckily, Mimi (my mom) was here to fill us in and Bubba and Deborah (Scott's Dad and his wife) were there to hang out with Bailey so Mimi could get some breaks from our sweet little grumpy teething baby.

Since we got home, we have just been hanging out with Bailey as much as possible.  Unfortunately, we haven't gotten a good picture of her new tooth. But luckily, she really enjoyed her homemade sweet potatoes tonight:

She enjoyed them so much she has passed out on her little side to sleep (Alissa, we are trying out the elevated crib again in hopes of making it through the night again, thanks for the suggestion!):

So, hopefully we will all have a great night of sleep tonight and we can get back to our normal routine (I don't think any of us can stand any more colds, fevers, or ear infections).  Sleep Bailey sleep!

FIVE MONTHS!!!

Bailey is 5 months old as of yesterday!  And, she is super excited about it of course:

 Ok, maybe she wasn't SO excited there but then:

 We captured several of her beautiful smiles!

As of today, Bailey:

ROLLS FROM HER BACK TO HER TUMMY!  (this was a first today so I'm pretty excited about it!  She also rolls from tummy to back.)

Loves to put anything and everything in her mouth (for example, she tried to put Reilly's ear in her mouth today.  I'm all for loving on our dog, but I have to draw the line somewhere.)

Will reach out for your face when you hold her.

Has recently started holding out her arms (sometimes) when she wants you to hold her.

Has already had one fever virus, a tummy bug, and RSV.  Also, she currently has an ear infection.  She has passed all except the fever virus straight to me (I even have an ear infection).  Thanks, daycare!

Loves to giggle, especially when she gets zerberts on her belly.  Sometimes you'll even get a belly laugh.

Smiles at everyone and has the sweetest disposition.  Even the pediatrician says so, and in a really convincing way that almost makes me believe she doesn't say that about every baby.

Loves her jumperoo and exersaucer.  I'm pretty sure she'd prefer to skip crawling and go straight to standing and and bouncing around.  So I really hope the poor girl didn't get her rhythm from me.

Has eaten rice cereal, oatmeal cereal, green beans, and carrots (in that order).  My plan to homemake all of her babyfoods was somewhat foiled by her throwing up my homemade green beans the first night she tasted them, but we have not lost faith.  She liked the carrots (at least on the first night) and sweet potatoes are next!

All things considered, Bailey is an amazing, laid back, sweet, and loving little baby.  We have had some rough nights, days, and weeks, but I would not trade a minute.  She is so much fun to hang around with already, and it only gets better and better Every. Single. Day.  She is learning and growing by the minute, and does something new all the time.  It is so fun to watch and I am loving every second (even if I don't love every second right when it happens.  If that makes any sense.)

To quote Rodney Carrington, "If [s]he'd start [pooping] hundreds, we'd have another!"

Promises, promises

Unfortunately, we did not have time tonight to take Bailey's 5 month (5 month!!!!) pictures before she was ready to eat and head straight to a bath then her bed.  Which, of course, ruined my big plans for a 5 month picture post tonight.  Assuming we can get her on a more normal schedule tomorrow, we will take (and post) those pictures tomorrow night.

Also a confession - I wrote an embarrassingly long and personal blog post about my experiences in nursing this afternoon, which I planned to post tonight, but I am convinced it needs to be condensed and significantly edited before it is blog worthy (it is far too personal and long to actually be interesting to anyone but me at this point).  So, I will do that tomorrow and hopefully post that and have some fun 5 month pictures of Bailey to post tomorrow night!

Not to make excuses for my (already broken) blog promises - but poor Bailey has a cold (again!  After two straight weeks of illness due to a tummy bug that went straight to RSV, we only had maybe a week of health before the daycare curse struck again).  Because of this, she has been waking multiple times during the night, which is not helpful to staying on her normal schedule or to my motivation to do anything (especially work - oh, the effort!). BUT - I stand by my promise to post more frequently, so don't give up on me yet.    Please and thank you in advance.

Back in Blog?

First, apologies to anyone (crickets?  Bueller?) that may ever look at our blog for updates!  We have had an amazing few months with Bailey, but between the immersion in the babyzone for the first few weeks, the back to work (and to daycare for Bailey) transition, the moving to an apartment (temporarily), and just general life stuff I have not maintained this blog like I should have.  I have, however, decided that will change!  Although I cannot even fathom trying to catch this blog up on everything that has occurred over the last 5 months (I'm pretty sure if I made myself do that, I would never blog again), I promise to do my best to keep things current on here from here on out and to discuss some of the things that have occurred over the last few months.  The fact that I just had to go to a blog I read which was kind enough to follow us in orderto even find my OWN blog has sufficiently shamed me into my determination to stick with this!

Also - I want to clarify a bit on the focus of this blog.  While my focus will likely be on updates on Bailey and our family, I'm also going to use this blog as an outlet for discussing issues that we've faced as a family (just a few off the top of my head: baby schedules, nursing, daycare, balancing work and family) as well.  Although these first five months with Bailey (she is FIVE MONTHS TODAY! I have been MOM! for five months holycow) have been amazing, there have been more than a few bumps in the road and I think it would be helpful to me to write about those bumps.  Also, if I ever get the nerve to share this blog "publicly" (read: on facebook)  and/or actually continue updating so that others will read it, my posts could potentially share some insight with other moms to be. 

SO - that is my soapbox and I'm jumping on it!

I will update later and maybe even (gasp!) post some updated pictures and/or draft a post on an issue on which I've been ruminating lately!  Get excited!!!