Bailey,
You are one year old. I cannot believe it. This has been the most amazing year of my whole entire life. I still remember the first time I saw you, when they laid you on my chest in the operating room. To my surprise, I didn't see the baby I had pictured in my mind. I saw you - a little mini-person, whose emotions, personality, and ideas were completely, and for the first time, separate from me. I was so very much in love, and so very terrified.
I'm not going to sugar coat it, B, those first few weeks were rough. When we first got home, you wouldn't sleep for more than thirty minutes or so without being held, so your dad and I would trade off holding you on couch so that we could all get a few hours of sleep.
I was bound and determined to nurse you, as I thought it was essential to have that close mother and baby bond, and nurse you did. Almost all of the time. For hours and hours. Sometimes while screaming and red-faced, and even hitting me with your fist. Baby, you just never got full. We had numerous anxiety-ridden weight checks with your wonderful pediatrician, Dr. Geiger, and after two weeks you had still not gained nearly enough weight and your dad and I just couldn't torture you and ourselves anymore, so we started feeding you my milk out of a bottle. You were STILL the most finicky milk drinker I've ever seen, taking an hour or more to finish a single bottle, always on your own time.
Once you got a full belly, though, you were the happiest baby I'd ever seen. Your smiles were random, but they lit up our world. You were so content, and loved to sleep in your vibrating chair borrowed from your sweet cousin Preston. You loved to lay on your play mat and would go to anyone who would take you. You began to regularly sleep through the night for around 10 hours at about week 8, thrilling your parents.
As you got older, your smiles became more frequent and your all-around happy disposition began to be obvious. You loved your jumperoo and exersaucer, and you made both me and your dad feel like the best parents in the world every day, as you would light up with the biggest smile and jump up and down whenever one of us walked in the room, even if we had only been gone a second. Even when you were tired or sick or had an ear infection (and you had TONS of ear infections), you were like a little pageant queen when you saw someone new - you would charm them in a second with a smile and giggle and they would never believe that anything was wrong with you.
Your teething and ear infections began at around 5 months, and so went the amazing sleep we had so come to rely on. You would cry and cry when I tried to put you down to sleep after you'd woken up in the middle of the night and were obviously still super tired, so I would sleep with you on my chest when the pain wouldn't stop. Oh, sweet girl, those were wonderful times. We would cuddle up and sleep together and I loved every second (even if your dad was super paranoid and always thought I would roll over on you - thankfully that never happened, haha!).
You began to crawl and first pulled yourself up while we were at the beach, Pawleys Island, with your Mimi and Pops, Aunt Angie, Maddie, and Caroline, and the Greggs, our family friends. While we had some wonderful times that week, and you LOVED the ocean and beach and were fearless with the waves, that was also a bit of a challenge, as you had a double ear infections that week which would just not be taken care of with antibiotics. I will never forget the morning that your Mimi and I spent at the pediatrician's office at Pawleys singing to you to calm your obvious extreme pain while we waited for the doctor. B, I'm so sorry that it took me so long to realize what was going on, but I'm so glad we were able to fix it by getting tubes put in your ears.
After you got tubes, however, you were, again, a different baby. While you had some trouble coming out of the anesthesia, you just needed to take a nap and then it was happy Bailey - alllllll the time (except maybe for teething, but no one can blame you for that).
Although you STILL have a hard time and wake up when you're getting a tooth - and you got all 4 of your first year molars in the first month we were in Knoxville (which was also the time you had the grossest virus ever that shall not be named, as it made you scream for 5 days straight and also made your mother nearly lose the very little sanity she had), which was a little rough, and we're still trying to figure out how to fix your diaper issues, you are, by far, still the happiest and coolest baby I've ever known. I know that sounds silly and cheesy, but it's the best way I know how to describe you. You love people, dancing, and dogs, and you just have the best time and make the best of things, no matter where you are. You're super cute, and you instinctively know how to entertain and make people smile and laugh, and you KNOW it. You are not afraid to assert yourself when you need to, but you still want to please and get your feelings hurt somewhat easily, and you're pretty good at understanding us and trying to do what we ask. I honestly don't know where your personality came from - you seem to have the best of both your dad and me, but at the same time you have awesome traits that we don't have, so you seem like the best of everyone on both sides of your family. It is so fun to watch.
I love you, Bailey - but more importantly, I like you, and I will do whatever I can to be the best mom I can be. I love to see you learn something new, which happens all the time, and I love the moments, which are becoming more and more frequent, when I look at you and know that we are connecting on a level that we've never connected on before, and we just sit and learn from each other. We certainly have our moments - you're testing our limits, I'm not the most patient person ever, and sometimes I know you and I need more one on one moments of learning, because when you focus, you are amazingly smart. There is no better way I can think of to spend my time than reading you books (your absolute favorite activity, bar none). You have been through some major changes this year, and you've handled them like a champ. I cannot tell you how special you are, or how much we love every day with you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for being such a positive, fun, happy, and sassy little girl. You are so much more fun and we love you so much more than anything I ever dreamed of, and I could not imagine being more bonded to anyone (except your dad, but we're all bonded together, so that is even more amazing). So, sweet girl, thank you for being you. You are amazing - and it just gets better every day.
Love you,
Your mama :)
