(Part I is here - a summary: I wasn't a huge fan of being pregnant, but I was and will always be a huge fan of having an excuse to eat whatever I wanted. So I did and gained 52 pounds. The. End.)
After having Bailey, I convinced myself I looked pretty good. In fact, as I was no longer carrying an 8 lb, 13 oz baby in my belly, I felt downright skinny. They should bottle such skinny-light feelings. I still remember babbling to my mother in law about how skinny I felt while I was still in the hospitaland on some rockin' painkillers.
Unfortunately, that feeling didn't last too long.
I'll never forget the first time I weighed myself after Bailey was born. It was November 1st, so Bailey was a month old, and we'd finally gotten an offer on our house which, after a good bit of back and forth, we'd accepted. I was free from the strings of a "for sale, someone can call at any minute, keep it spotless" house (still not sure how I managed to pull that off with a newborn, as now I can't even keep our apartment, which is half the size, acceptably clean with a 7 month old). So - I finally asked Scott to bring down the scale that I'd shuffled away to the attic when the house was on the market. You know, toavoid it's evil, demon eyes declutter.
After having Bailey, I convinced myself I looked pretty good. In fact, as I was no longer carrying an 8 lb, 13 oz baby in my belly, I felt downright skinny. They should bottle such skinny-light feelings. I still remember babbling to my mother in law about how skinny I felt while I was still in the hospital
Unfortunately, that feeling didn't last too long.
I'll never forget the first time I weighed myself after Bailey was born. It was November 1st, so Bailey was a month old, and we'd finally gotten an offer on our house which, after a good bit of back and forth, we'd accepted. I was free from the strings of a "for sale, someone can call at any minute, keep it spotless" house (still not sure how I managed to pull that off with a newborn, as now I can't even keep our apartment, which is half the size, acceptably clean with a 7 month old). So - I finally asked Scott to bring down the scale that I'd shuffled away to the attic when the house was on the market. You know, to
Well, this is a picture from about the same date I finally stepped on the scale for the first time:
(Here is the fat girl who formerly lived in my head and has now emerged, in all her glory. Ugh, this is worse than sharing the pregnancy pictures. Apparently I am incapable of not sharing too much with you people.)
As you can probably guess from the picture above, it was (still) bad.
To be specific, I still weighed 27 pounds more than my prenatal weight. (honestly, did you expect me to reveal an actual number? Because I can drink A LOT of wine, but not enough to make me reveal my weight, even a past weight, on the internet. Not now, not ever.)
But, approximately 25 pounds had seemingly magically disappeared with Bailey's birth and the first month of her life despite the insane amount of Halloween candy I had consumed almost guilt-free (you need extra calories to make milk, obvs). I could *almost* squeeze my booty into a couple pairs of pre-pregnancy jeans. So, I wasn't completely discouraged.
I started to get motivated. I was still pumping my milk for Bailey, and desperately trying to increase my supply, so I knew I couldn't get too strict with my diet. But I started using the LoseIt app on my iPhone to keep up with my calories. I started trying to exercise on the elliptical (we have one in our house) every day for an hour.
Initially, the weight came off pretty well. I was down about 4 pounds by the time Thanksgiving came along. But then, I ate Thanksgiving dinner, let my milk dry up, and the Christmas season began. I started working 3 days a week in December, and our office had a celebration called the "10 days of Christmas" during which people in the office took turns bringing in dessert and/or snack foods every day for the 10 days before the Christmas break. I would end up snacking all day long while joking with my co-workers about how our celebration should be called the "10 pounds of Christmas." I didn't realize at the time how right I was. As much as I thought I was still keeping track of my calories, clearly I was not, as all 4 of the pounds which had come off before Thanksgiving were back by New Years.
I was still stalled out in January. Then, at a doctor's appointment on February 2nd, I learned that I was still the exact same weight that I had been at my 6 week checkup after Bailey's birth. Afterreally wishing I still had some of those rocking painkillers ugly crying to my mom and sister during my whole drive back to the office, I got more serious. I finally re-accepted the fact that I just flat out don't have the metabolism most people have, and got back to a similar plan to that which I had been on prior to being pregnant. I exercised a minimum of an hour and 15 minutes a day, 6 days a week, and kept my calorie intake to about what Weight Watchers recommends.
Despite my continuing efforts, as of now, only 11 more pounds have come off. I still need to lose 16 pounds to get to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I'd rather lose 20 and get back to my preferred weight. It's a struggle, and it seems that all weight loss has stalled (again) in the last month or so. I have moments when I feel confident that I'm going to lose the weight, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that the fact that I can't fit into about 90% of my clothes can be overwhelming and depressing. I don't feel good about myself, and it simultaneously depresses and amazes me to see that it seems like all the recently pregnant women I know are back at their pre-pregnancy weights, if not lower.
It's a fight, and I'm fighting every day. But I think we all know how this story will probably end......as soon I step on that scale and find out that I've finally reached my goal weight, I'll be pregnant again within a month. And the whole cycle will begin again. That's just how my luck works.
To be specific, I still weighed 27 pounds more than my prenatal weight. (honestly, did you expect me to reveal an actual number? Because I can drink A LOT of wine, but not enough to make me reveal my weight, even a past weight, on the internet. Not now, not ever.)
But, approximately 25 pounds had seemingly magically disappeared with Bailey's birth and the first month of her life despite the insane amount of Halloween candy I had consumed almost guilt-free (you need extra calories to make milk, obvs). I could *almost* squeeze my booty into a couple pairs of pre-pregnancy jeans. So, I wasn't completely discouraged.
I started to get motivated. I was still pumping my milk for Bailey, and desperately trying to increase my supply, so I knew I couldn't get too strict with my diet. But I started using the LoseIt app on my iPhone to keep up with my calories. I started trying to exercise on the elliptical (we have one in our house) every day for an hour.
Initially, the weight came off pretty well. I was down about 4 pounds by the time Thanksgiving came along. But then, I ate Thanksgiving dinner, let my milk dry up, and the Christmas season began. I started working 3 days a week in December, and our office had a celebration called the "10 days of Christmas" during which people in the office took turns bringing in dessert and/or snack foods every day for the 10 days before the Christmas break. I would end up snacking all day long while joking with my co-workers about how our celebration should be called the "10 pounds of Christmas." I didn't realize at the time how right I was. As much as I thought I was still keeping track of my calories, clearly I was not, as all 4 of the pounds which had come off before Thanksgiving were back by New Years.
I was still stalled out in January. Then, at a doctor's appointment on February 2nd, I learned that I was still the exact same weight that I had been at my 6 week checkup after Bailey's birth. After
Despite my continuing efforts, as of now, only 11 more pounds have come off. I still need to lose 16 pounds to get to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I'd rather lose 20 and get back to my preferred weight. It's a struggle, and it seems that all weight loss has stalled (again) in the last month or so. I have moments when I feel confident that I'm going to lose the weight, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that the fact that I can't fit into about 90% of my clothes can be overwhelming and depressing. I don't feel good about myself, and it simultaneously depresses and amazes me to see that it seems like all the recently pregnant women I know are back at their pre-pregnancy weights, if not lower.
It's a fight, and I'm fighting every day. But I think we all know how this story will probably end......as soon I step on that scale and find out that I've finally reached my goal weight, I'll be pregnant again within a month. And the whole cycle will begin again. That's just how my luck works.
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