Which sounds REALLY small (& even looks really small in that type) and still leaves 12 to go to get to pre-baby weight, and 17 to get where I'd prefer to be (which is not quite wedding weight but a point at which I feel confident and good in my body).
Despite the relative smallness of this victory, it feels huge - I've lost those 2 pounds despite taking vacations to the beach and to Knoxville, despite having serious bouts of stress eating due to having a baby with constant ear infections who had to have ear surgery (and who now has a fever virus making her miserable - it never ends!), and despite my total slacking on jogging due to the misery that is Memphis heat. I'm hoping to pick back up with the running, although I may have to do it after dark (which is not necessarily ideal in Memphis either....) and I'm hoping that will pick the pace back up on the weight loss.
The semi-good news about all the weight I have left to lose is that it's concentrated mainly in my lower belly (right above my c-section surgery incision) and my upper thighs, which means I don't completely HATE every single picture of me. At least, I don't completely hate those taken from the waist up.
The bad news about all the weight I have left to lose is that it's concentrated mainly in my lower belly and my upper thighs. Which means that anything in my closet that was even slightly low-waisted does not fit, even certain pairs of jeans that seemed huge and so so easy to wear before. Although I also have to admit that it means that some things that I never thought I would fit into at this point which have some stretch and button higher up, like my skinny jeans, actually fit pretty easily. Unfortunately, it also means that I still look pregnant enough to fear wearing any dress or skirt that is "fitted" and meant to be tight, as I'm not sure I could control myself if anyone were to "congratulate" me on my fat pouch.
The odd fitting of some clothes and concentration of weight in the belly/thighs has also meant that I can no longer ignore the creeping fear that has been there all along:
What if this belly never goes away and my clothes never fit correctly again no matter how much weight I lose?
What if this belly never goes away and my clothes never fit correctly again no matter how much weight I lose?
I'm really not sure that this is an irrational fear, either. I've heard too many people say that after a c-section, your stomach is never the same. Yes, I've heard people say that about giving birth in general as well, but I've also seen my friends, pretty much all of whom look as good or better after giving birth. And yes, I do have friends who have had c-sections and also now look as good or better as they did before. (Are all of my friends just freaks of nature? Where are these other women who claim to struggle with post-natal weight loss? Although I've been able to commiserate with a friend from college who has a baby around Bailey's age and read my baby weight struggles on this blog and who, even though she still looks super skinny to me, definitely provided me with the invaluable insight that losing her baby weight is the only thing that is really keeping her from feeling like herself again after becoming a mom (I couldn't agree more) no one who lives near me seems to have these issues......So. Not. Fair.)
My belly simply does not seem to be heading back towards flatness. Don't get me wrong, I've definitely noticed some flattening here and there when I suck in and don't breathe with the slooooooooow loss of pounds, but the "pouch" is still just SO noticeable to me. It's like my body thinks I'm part kangaroo and is holding a spot for Bailey, just in case she wants to hop back in for a minute.
Oh well, onward I trudge, hoping to lose my 1/2 pound this week and have another little victory next month. I mean, kangaroos are cute, right?
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